Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You pole danced in your parka.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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