i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
