now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
