her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
