i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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