My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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