If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
