I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
