i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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