she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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