They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
