the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
