You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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