I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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