Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
