Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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