I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize