i don't like sucking hair
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
