i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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