at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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