i would punch a child for taco bell
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
