I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
