..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
How's work?
Spinning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
