I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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