Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
