Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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