This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
