Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
