we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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