he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
