he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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