thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
