My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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