They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
