when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the condom got lost in my hair
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
