dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
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