No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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