So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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