Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
