I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
