Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
