it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
