But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
