AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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