If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
