i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
