How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
