the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
