a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
