Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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